Fate: Chapter14

Hello! I got a lot of death threats b3d the last chapter, hope fully I won't get anymore :p!

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March:

My life turned into an empty routine, I wake up, shower, go to uni, go back home work on assignments, and then just sit on the couch feeling empty, and lifeless. Danah has been trying to get me to go out, but I don't want to. I lost the enthusiasm to do anything, even my grades dropped. My leggings and skinny jeans were replaced with sweats and huge hoodies. I haven't taken proper care of my hair in ages; it's always tied up in a bun these days. Faisal's parents are coming to check up on me in a few days; I look like a ghost. I lost so much weight, losing all my curves in the process, I was left with my skin and bones only. My eyes are swollen all the time by now from how much I cry. I miss him terribly.

April: 

It's been 8 months; I'm slowly losing hope. I pretend that I'm better, because I know my lifelessness is affecting my family and friends. Anoud spent 3 weeks with me, and she just left back to riyadh. Mahra and Faris are engaged now, their wedding is in the summer. I'm really happy for them. Our wedding was supposed to be this December, me and Faisal's wedding. I don't see that happening any time soon though. They still didn't tell us anything about him. All I wear now are his shirts and hoodies, I smell him every where. Graduation is coming up; I thought I'd be more excited, but I'm not. I was excited bcause graduation meant we're going to have our wedding, but I don't have a groom. Oh! I finally caved today and I went out for dinner and a movie with S3oud, I had so much fun! Thank god Danah joined us though, or it would've been awkward. He knows about Faisal, and he's been so supportive. El7amidelah ena I have him, and Danah or I would've gone crazy.

May:

My graduation is in 3 weeks and I could not be less excited about it. I'm much better that I were the past 9 months, but that's bcause I turned numb. I don't have any feelings anymore. I'm just a fake smiling, laughing, and eating robot. I don't eat that much either. I'm staring at myself in the mirror right now, my reflection is scary. She's a pale, skinny, lifeless corpse. I hated my reflection; this is the first time I see myself in months. I shouldn't have looked, now I know why my mom tears up whenever she sees me. I didn't realize love  did this to you, I don't know if what me and Faisal have is just love. It's the work of fate. I wiped my tears quickly and I put on my clothes. I was heading for a job interview my dad managed to get  me. One of his friends has a huge architecture company, and they are opening a branch in Riya9' and they want a woman to get the job. To get the job  I had to make a model, and some blue prints of what I think the Riya9' branch should be like.

June:

They pronounced him dead. I got the news the day I arrived in Riya9', and the moment I heard it a piece of me, no all of my being died with him. I remember that moment vividly:

I had just went into the house, and I went straight to my bed bcause I didn't have it in me to deal with anyone. I laid in bed and stared at my milka pictures, he looked so happy. We looked so happy. There were a couple of pictures that were taken when we didn't know; the photographer wanted true happy moments and she did a good job of capturing them. I don't think I've ever been happier than I was that day. Flipping the last page of the album 4 pictures fell down and a letter fell with them. Weird, I never saw those. The pictures looked old, they had a little boy and a little girl. The girl was wearing a pink fluffy sparkling dress. I couldn't believe it! That was me, and the little boy was Faisal. This was taken 16 years ago, at my mother's friend's daughter's party. I remember that party really well, I had met a cute boy who chased all the bullies away. That boy was Faisal. I looked at the pictures again, and again, and again. There was one with me and him playing on the swings,  one of me kissing his cheek, one with us hugging, and one with me applying lip gloss to him. I laughed at that one. I remembered that I should read the note with them.

'To the love of my life,

I can officially call you my wife. I have waited for this day for 4 long years, and it finally came. You looked gorgeous blmilka. You always look beautiful, and I'll keep telling you that till the last day of my life. I know you'll be angry once you find out that I have an assignment but hopefully it'll be my last bcause I applied for a transfer. My new job enshallah won't be exactly what you call safe but it won't take me away from home. I know I could work at my dad's company and just save myself the trouble but that isn't what I want to do with my life. I want to serve my country and make my children proud, all 6 of them. Yes we're having 6, I was going to say we'll have 10 bes 5ft you run away and leave me. I want as much mini yous as I can get. Today is the start of the rest of our lives together, and hopefully we'll have much more. I hope our days will be as beautiful as you are, and our kids as gorgeous and kind as you are. You're probably wondering where I got the last 4 pictures from. My mom found them in an old album, apparently she thought you looked very familiar and she recognized your mother's name. When she told my aunt about you, she remembered the name, and told us that her and your mother were friends from high school. Fate brought us together when we were kids, and then it reunited us as teenagers. Hopefully, fate will bring me back to you after this assignment. I think that's more than enough proof that we're meant for each other. 

Forever yours with love, 

Faisal.'

I cried so hard while reading his letter. I read it over and over again till I memorized it. He's been gone for almost a year and some where along the way I lost hope that he'll ever be back, but my faith in god never wavered and after reading his letter it's like all the hope I lost came back, but with more force this time. After my crying calmed, I could hear sounds at the door. It sounded like my brothers. 

Maha: ed5lo.

The door opened and my brothers' heads peeked in through the door. Suddenly all 3 brothers were pushing each other into the room. I wiped my tears and nose in a very unlady like move, and then I stared at them coming and whispering to each other.

Maha: fekm shy?
Turki: Maha 7bebty we have to tell you something. 

My eyes widened in alarm it's about Faisal, I could feel it in my bones. 

Talal: shufy enty 3arfa ena ela3mar byad allah..
Abdulaziz: Maha, they think that.. They think that Faisal is dead.

I felt like a piece of me was ripped, no I felt like my whole heart was being ripped away from me and stepped on till it was only a pool of blood and muscles. 

Turki: they're not sure though, bcause a lot of men were missing and.. and the corpses' faces are too damaged for anyone to know who it really is.
Talal: so they're bringing the corpses for family members to identify them. 
Abdulaziz: Maha, Mahoy, Mahawy, Faisal could still be alive, ok?

I didn't react in any way, I was numb. Dead inside, as dead as the corpse they are bringing.


It can't be true. They couldn't even identify the body, so they're bringing him back home to us. No they're bringing a corpse, a dead body for us to see and say if he's him or not. I can't do it,  I can't. I am supposed to head down to the base today, a knock at my door made me snap back to the harsh reality I didn't want to face. Turki's face popped into the room. He was the one taking me to the base.

Turki: jahza?
Maha: Turki maby.

I heard my brother sigh and come sit next to me; the minute he put his arm around my shoulder I burst into tears. All the emotions I had been suppressing, all the sadness, the depression, the anger, the fear came out. I was heart broken, and it f*cking hurt.

2 hours later we were at the base, I got chills once I got down from the car even though it was mid july and we were in Riya9'. It was an empty, emotionless, and cold place. It was so void of any kind of emotion. I was surprised that a guy as romantic as Faisal spent most of his days here.

We were allowed in the morge to see the corpses a few minutes later, the moment I went in the smell of death hit me like bullets.

Faisal's parents, sisters, and I went through every corpse they had.

First:

5alty Shai5a: La2 ha4a mo Faisal. He doesn't have a mole on his elbow.

Second:

Amal: No it's not Faisal. This guy has a birthmark on his cheek.

Third:

Maha: No this guy isn't Faisal, bcause Faisal has a pink not healed scar on his hipbone.

I blushed while saying that bcause that meant I saw much more of Faisal then I should have.

The same went with the fourth, the fifth, and the sixth. They all were horrible to look at but thankfully none of them were Faisal.

August:

It's been a year since Faisal has been gone. A year without his handsome face, his charming smile, and his cute little dimple. I miss him terribly; it's like a piece of me is missing. I was supposed to go to his house today, 5alty shai5a wanted me to come have dinner with them. I didn't feel really up to it b3den I remembered eno they may be going through the same thing, and that it's hard for them as well.

During dinner we talked about a lot of subjects; my new job, Faisal as a kid, wedding arrangements. It bothered me to some existent but it was like they had so much hope that he was coming back, no it was like they were certain he was coming back home. I loved their positivity and I wished my hope was as strong as theirs. While eating 3mi mit3b asked me about my new job, but I couldn't answer. I choked on my own saliva, bcause the door opened and standing in front of me was someone I never imagined I'd see ever again. He was back.

Everyone on the table stood up and ran over to him, they hugged him and showered him with kisses. On the other hand, I stood shell shocked and I just stared. After he managed to push everyone away, he came to me and he put his hands on my cheeks. We stood staring at each other for ages, and I noticed everyone went quiet. Tears fell from my eyes without my permission, and I couldn't do anything. The moment I felt his lips on my forehead and cheeks; it was like something snapped inside me.

xo