Unexpected: Chapter16

SURPRISE w hadiyaaa! It's short, but it isn't even the usual day I post. This is such an emotional chapter mdri leeh kitha.

Enjoy ya 7lwen!

~

Previously:

Anoud: umm.. shofy hwa ena ana! Ana tgdmlii wa7d..
Maha: WHAT?

What I didn't know was that Maha was calling Turki and he heard everything I said.

Maha: dgega Turki akmlmk b3d shwy. 

My eyes opened wide. God what will he say now? I didn't want him to hear that. 

Maha: huh? Keef?

Anoud: 9aa7!! 7ta ana agol men ybi m6lga erta3t yom jani el5br. 

Maha: 3nouda-

Anoud: la tgolen 3nouda.

Maha: leeh?

Anoud: Waleed kan ynadeni 3nouda.

Maha: oh.

Anoud: ee..

Maha: as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted.

Anoud: eee, esh tb3'en tgolen?

Maha: you're perfect. Any guy would be lucky to have you. You're beautiful, smart, and sweet. And I'm not just saying that because you're my bestfriend.

I laughed at Maha; she really was the perfect bestfriend.

Anoud: Maha, please.

Maha: they'll keep coming 3noudi.

Anoud: and I'll keep refusing.

Maha: why?

Anoud: because if I can't be his, then I won't be anyone else's.

Maha: you love him this much? 

Anoud: more than you know.

Maha: you know you could've..

Anoud: adry ana swet'ha bNfsi.

We kept quiet for a while.

Anoud: oh w mahoy?

Maha: I won't tell Turki ena you're planning to refuse every guy who will propose to you.

Anoud: thank you!

~

I was woken up from my sleep by my phone ringing loudly. Why didn't I put it on silent? God it's so annoying. I answered it with my eyes half open.

Anoud: alo?

There was no answer. Hw, men ydg n9 elLeel wla yrd?

Anoud: alo? A7d m3i?

Still no answer. I took the phone off my ear and the screen was lit brightly, and I saw the number. It's an international number; a german number. My breath caught in my throat, is it him? Why isn't he answering then?

I kept quiet and listened to his breathing. What do I do? I should probably hang up. I couldn't bring myself to reply.

Anoud: I'll hang up. 

Still no answer. 

I hung up on him after a while of waiting. I wished to hear his voice, but I didn't. Something inside of me snapped, and I felt the urge to bring a paper and pen and start writing all that I feel and put them into words.

I hate how he pretends like I doesn't exist, and that makes wish I didn't. Does it bother him that we don't talk anymore? The salt in my wounds keeps burning me, and I keep feeling the pain. I'm scared of being hurt some more, and the blood in my veins is pumping as strong as ever. My insecurities are as shouting as loud as sirens through a silent night. A heart can't be broken if it stopped beating, and I wish mine stopped beating before it got broken. I didn't love him. I just didn't want to be alone. Or maybe just maybe he was good to my ego? I couldn't possibly love him because you don't destroy the person you love. I just crave a hug so tight from him that brings all my broken pieces together. I acted as if it all wasn't a big deal, but I was really just breaking my own heart. 

Turki's P.O.V:

I sat on my apartment's couch, so that was it. A sign from god that I should move on, some guy proposed to her. I just want to be able to look at her and not feel so hurt by her. She doesn't know that in a crowded place, my eyes search for her and only her. I hate myself so much for still loving you more than myself. I'm so angry for myself for not letting you go. My nightmares are all about losing her, and that day my biggest nightmare came true. I lost her. I guess if I really do love her I should just let her move on, right? I can't. I tried so hard but I just can't. I should be over her, but I'm not. She haunts me every second, every minute, and every hour of every day. A person doesn't know what real suffering is until they've fallen in love with someone who doesn't share their feelings. A person doesn't know what real pain is until they come so close to getting what they've been wanting their whole lives and then just before their fingers are allowed to even brush against it; it evaporates into thin air. Doesn't she understand that I'm willing to kiss her scarred skin? Can't she understand that when she lets me in I won't destroy her?

I can't just let her go this easy; I have to get her back. How did I let us end up like this? She's worth fighting for I just didn't understand that until now, is it too late? So I did the craziest thing I've done in my life. I picked up my phone and dialled her number. 

It rang.

And rang.

And rang.

Until she finally picked up.

Turki: I can't unlove you. I'm truly sorry, but I can't. Maybe you don't love me, and maybe you never did and never will, but I love you. No, I am in love with you. I love you and it's that simple. There isn't a switch for my feelings, and I can't just turn them off so  you can't expect me to just not love you because you think I deserve better. I don't want anyone else. I know this sounds so selfish and bitter of me, but I don't want a day to come where you smile, laugh, and be happy and I'm not the cause of that. It kills me to imagine you with someone else. I didn't only lose you when you walked out of this apartment I lost myself as well. Having a broken heart is so bad, it's like breaking your ribs. No one can ever see it, but the pain is there and it hurts every time you breathe. I don't want to take another breath where you're not mine. So like I said I am truly sorry but I'm in love with you.

I let out a huge breath after that long rant, and I waited for her reaction.

Anoud: I thought you said you were horrible with expressing emotions. 
Turki: does that mean I get a second chance? 
Anoud: what does a second chance mean?
Turki: shall we start all over?

To be continued…
xo