When will you be mine?: Chapter13

I know that I promised this chapter earlier but I had no access to my laptop. I'm extremely sorry, but here you go! 

Enjoy! 

-

Previously:

Basma: bes mama, Zaid ma ybi Lulwa bnt 5alti ma9'awi! 

Hind: ajl meen ybi?

Basma: ybi Lama 9a7bti! 

Hind: NA3AM?! 5EER ENSHALLAH?

I shot up from my seat on my mother's lap. 

Basma: HW MAMA WSH JAK! Lama traha! K2nha bntik!

My mother gave me a weirded out look. 

Hind: wsh t5rb6en enti?

Basma: hw mama! Agolik Zaid ma ybi lulwa bnt 5alti m9'awi.

Hind: ee fhmt that part! 

Basma: ybi Lama 9degti.

Hind: w ha4i abrk'ha mn sa3a! 

Basma: besmellah! Tw agolik Lama b3'etii tnhblen!

Hind: b3'eet anhbl l2n fe rjal jowa elbeet! 

I looked out to where she's looking, and noticed that there are a couple of strange men in our garden, and I let out a sigh of relief. 

Basma: ooh, 5eft.

My mother lifted her iPhone to her ear, and scolded Abdulfatta7 about not telling her that there were workers coming. Suddenly my mother dropped her phone, cupped my face with her hands, and looked at me. 

Hind: Basma, mama, la tt5ylen fe yom eni momkin a7rmk enti aw o5ok aw ay w7da n 5watik mn s3adtkom. Ento 7yati klha, w adri ya mama eni 9ayra 3'athetha 3lek shwy, bes trani t3bana hlkm yom m3 obok w you see how his condition is only worsening..

I kissed my mother's palms, I could never show her how much I am grateful for her. Sure, these past few months have been tense on our relationship, but she is my mother and I know she loves me no matter what she says or does.* 

Basma: mama, tra e7na n7bk, w ndri enk ma tswen shy ela elm9l7tna. I love you ya dnyti enti, allah la y7rmni mnik. 

I gave her a light kiss on her forehead. Before we could talk any further, my dad limped to the couch with Zaid holding him up. My heart sunk deeper, if there's one thing that manages to depress me even more than Abdulaziz ignoring me, is how my father's condition doesn't seem to get better. 

My mother stood up quickly to make space for him to lie down, and before I could stand too my dad shook his head.

Dad: Basma, ejlsi 7bebti. 

Basma: bes baba ent lazm tnsd7.

Dad: Basma, 9arli ftra mo shayfek zy elnas. Abek tjlsen jmbi w asolf m3ak w ashofk ya 7bebat baba. 

Basma: enshallah. 

I couldn't focus on what my dad was talking to me about because Zaid kept shooting me looks. That guy is so annoying ma a9dg! He kept arching his eyebrows, and I wanted to be a little evil and not tell him.  So I made a disappointed expression, and the way his shoulders slagged and his expression changed from hopeful to heartbroken in mere minutes made me want to slap myself senseless. 

So I got up, and held him by his biceps while giving my father an angry smile that was directed at my brother. 

Basma: baba excuse us shwy abi aklm Zaid. 

Baba: 3e4rik m3k baba.

I dragged my brother, well because he let me drag him, to the small living room attached to my bedroom. Before I could even utter a syllable he bombarded me with his rant. God, guys' rants are more terrible than the girls' rants! 

Zaid: y3ny ya Basma she's your bestfriend, she's technically your sister! How could you live with yourself now you know that you broke her heart? How?! And I'm in love with her! I won't marry anyone else! I can't Basma, walla ma agdr bdonha! I know her father might refuse me because of my drug problems, but I have to try. I-i-

I slapped my palm against his mouth.

Basma: wsh d3wa Zaid jbtli 9oda3 tra! Ma 5letni agol wla kilma mashallah 3lek! 

Zaid: shofi Basma, e4a klam ma y3jbni mabi a3rfa! 

Basma: whh! Galbos habebi u5oy el3asheg elwlhan! 

Zaid: Basma 3n elt6nz w goleli wsh galt! 

So I told him everything that happened with my mother, and I wished I video recorded his face while I was telling him, the way his expression changed, the way his eyes had a glimmer of sadness that changed to hope. After I was done telling him, tears started falling from my eyes without my approval. My brother's facial expression changed into scared shitless. 

Zaid: hw Basma shfek! 

Basma: hah? La wla shy I'm just glad you're getting your happy ending. 

Zaid: I'm getting a step closer to my  happy ending, that's all. 

He kissed my forehead, and I tucked my knees under my chin. My heart broke a little because I'm probably never getting my happy ending, but at least my brother and best friend are. 

~

A couple of months passed and I settled into my college routine, and before I knew it, a year had passed since Abdulaziz left. That day I had to go to one of my friends' weddings and Alia had my dress so I had to pass by her house to take it. So I called her before I went out of the university grounds.

Basma: alo?

Alia: hey baby! 

Basma: eslamo 3lykom.

Alia: efffff you make me feel so guilty lma tslmen b3d ma agolk 'hi baby' y3ny seriously!

Basma: hala habebi, ert7ti al7in?

Alia: mo g9di ki4a, bes y3ny 6regtik lma tslmen t7sesni bl4anb eni agol klam zy ki4a a7sni kafra!

Basma: ya film enti, la t5rb6en 3la rasi much abi amr a5i4 my dress mnik! 

Alia: it's ok ana brsla betkom!

Basma: wen 3lia ma ymdeni lazm a5lehm y3'slona w ykwona!

Alia: seriously Basoma ana a3'sla w akweh w arsla! 

Basma: laa ween fashla! Agolk 5lehom y6l3ona brra ana jayya b3d shwy!

Alia: yarabeh mnik 3aneda!


I hung up on her so she couldn't argue with me further, and I told Sami the driver to go Alia's house, I put on my headphones and turned up the volume. I looked out the car to Riyadh's wet streets. It's winter again, and the idea warmed my heart. I've always loved winter, especially when it rains, everything in Riyadh just becomes a hundred times better and I feel as if all the rain has washed away our sorrows while the cold froze our hearts. I was thinking that maybe because our weather is so harsh, whether it be summer or winter, we ended up having such a harsh exterior. Maybe the harshness of our winters and summers bit our hearts, and that bite gave us a permanent disease that made its home our genes. Our tough exterior is the result of that disorder our genes even though we may be very kind people.

I shook my head, to clear it from those thoughts. The weather is so beautiful so it makes me think of things in different aspects. As we went into the prestigious neighbourhood that Alia lived in, slowly my surroundings became familiar. There were little boys playing in the water puddles in front of their house, and the sounds of children's laughter filled the air as they played in the soft rain. It's a miracle how the changing of the weather changes our mood. 


All of these things warmed my heart that for once I forgot about everything I'm going through. That's until I saw a familiar Audi parked in front of Alia's house, and a silhouette I can never forget coming 0ut of it. My heart, eyes and lips whispered your name all at once, as all my body became so confused that it forgot how to function. My hearts rhythmic beats turned into loud thumps that I think the whole street can hear. 

"Aziz".

xo

When will you be mine?: Chapter12

I wanted to post this chapter ages ago, bes elapp 7g blogger mafe as5f mna 6a7 jwali w oak ft7ta ma lget elchapter! Ahm shy it's here right now!

Enjoy! ❥

-

Previously:

Zaid's hand brushed through her hair, and when he leaned in I looked away. I couldn't intrude on their moment. So I stepped back, and knocked the door.

Basma: Lamo? Enti hena?

Lama: huh.. Ee!

I opened the door and Zaid was no where to be found. Hmmm.. strange. 

Basma: enti hena l7alik? I could've sworn eni sm3t 9ot a7d. 

Lama: haa? La bes knt aklm w on speaker.

Basma: Aha.. Agol Lamo..

Lama: smi?

Basma: if you ever had something going on you would tell me, 9a7? If you ever met someone, aw shy.. 

Lama: you heard us, didn't you?

Basma: kinda..

Lama: Zaid, e6l3.. 

He came out of the bathroom, and he was trying not to look me in the eye. He was embarrassed and I was fighting the urge to point out how cute that was! 

Basma: ana mani fahma leh ma gltoli!

Lama: Basma, the last thing you needed was me discussing this with you with everything going on. 

She pointed between her and Zaid when she said this. Zaid gave me a look, he still didn't know, so  naturally I ignored him.

Basma: 6b, km 9arlkm?

Lama: eish?

Basma: km 9rlkm m3 b39'?

Lama: ma haa.. E7na mo m3 b39'! 

Zaid: w ha4i heya moshklti! 


I laughed at my brother's frustration.

Basma: la t9er 7mar, e7trm ra3'bat elbnt.

Zaid: Basoma! Ana m7trm Lama more than you give me credit!

Lama: ee walla, 7ram.

Basma: bswi nfsi ma shft shy, al7en Lama leh ma tben t9eren m3 Zaid?

Lama: you.

Basma: ana? 

Lama: ee! A5af if anything goes wrong I'll lose you. 

I got tears in my eyes on her confession. I'm blessed with the best of friends. 

Basma: you would never lose me. Ever. Plus, t7sbeni br9'a ashofik enti wltees ha4a t7bon b39' bes you're not together because of me w askt?

Zaid: 3fwn e5ti 3almo8a6a3a, ana 2o2ayed klamk, bes momkin ma tsmeni tees? Shokran.

Basma: shfti? Tees. 

Lama: 5la9 ok! 

I put my hands on both of their chests.

Basma: hold up, ground rules: 1- mmno3 I see anything until you're married. 2- we have a party to go to so yalla!  And Zaid, don't you dare break her heart. I meant it, I will kill you with my own bear hands! W enti yallaa 3lia tnt9'rna! 

Lama: ok ok! 

I pulled her by her palm, and Zaid held on to her by the elbow.

Zaid: Basoma, allah y3afek 5aleha 3ndi shwy! 

Basma: laa wallaa enta mo 9a7i! 

Zaid: tkfen! 5 dgayg bes!

Basma: ent bha4i el5ms dgayg tswi elnoon w ma y3lmon! Yalla yalla yalla lamo! 

Lama: 6yb yalla! A9ln 3lia 5la9t mn 3ziz? 

Basma: mnzman m5l9a. 

Zaid: meen 3lia w meen 3ziz?

Basma: hw zeed wsh jak, 3lia 9degti kant tklm o5oha 3bdul3ziz ybi ybark lha. 

Zaid: hw ma shafha?

Basma: haa? Laa ydrs fe Australia hw 3shan ki4a. 

Zaid: La 3ad! Esma 3bdul3ziz Alflani?

Basma: ee, leeh t3rfa?

Zaid: ee ya7lela kan yji jam3ati ana wla9dega2i blestera7a, w kan y7b w7da at3b w agolk ya Basma y7b elar9' eli tmshe 3leha. 

Basma: hah? Ee tgoli 3lia. 

Zaid: mdri wsh jah ra7 w trakha m3 ena kan ygol ena ynt9'rha tt5rj 3shan y56bha..

Basma: 5la9 Zaid mo wagt elswalf al7en b3den lma arj3! 

My heart was breaking with every word my brother said. You had no idea how much I know about that subject ya Zaid. No idea.

Lama: hello B! Ween sr7ty!

Basma: nothing, gomi bes!

~

Today was going terribly and horribly wrong, I got my acceptance letter from Sapienza University of Rome and everything was going according to plan until my mother decided that I can't. 

Basma: mama mo mnjdik! I got the acceptance w klshy! Fj2a ma tben?

Hind: enti a93'ar 3yali w I need you with me! 

Basma: mama, please! I'm not a baby anymore! A7taj a6l3 mn hena.

Hind: 9a7ya enti t7sbeni b5lek tro7en t3eshen fe i6aliya l7alk? Ween mo5ik yom enik tgdmen! 

Basma: mama! Ana abi Rome. I love it. M56e6a adrs henak lw sm7te la t5rben fly! 

Hind: you're not going there and that's final. Tgdaren tdrsen Arts hena 3ndna fe PSU.

Basma: mama! 

I was on the verge of tears, I needed to get out of this place. 

Hind: la tna8sheni Basma, 5la9. My word is final. 

I couldn't hold back my sobs anymore, so I let them out. This is all not going according to plan. I wanted to leave, and stay away for as long as I can. I wanted to run away and put this all behind, but I guess I have to accept the reality of this all and start planning for my stay here. 

~

I took off my 3baya, and threw myself on the bed. I had just finished my interview for the university, and it looks like I'm getting accepted. I could feel the usual pressing on my chest, so I did what always makes me feel a hundred times better; I spread my mat and started praying. I asked god to forgive me, and to bring him back to me if he was any good to me. 

There was knocking on my door, and I allowed whoever it was to come in. 

Zaid: Basma?

Basma: sm?

Zaid: rayga?

Basma: 7sb esh salftk bl9'ab6?

Zaid: heya mo mrra salfa kbera bes y3ny y3ny..

Basma: goli wsh tbi? Tbi flos mn oboy?

Zaid: hw bzr ana a6lb flos, 5la9 9rt asht3'l w e3tmdt 3la nfsi! 

Basma: yahoh! Ya e3temad 3la elnfs ent, 6yb wsh 3ndik?

Zaid: bgolik klshy bes enti tkfeen la trdeni! Goli tm! 

Basma: Zayood! Tklm ya5y magdr agol tm w ana mdri wsh elsalfa! 

Zaid: abek t7aken omi.

Basma: ela ha4i ya Zaid. 

Zaid: lw sm7te! Mst7i abda blmw9'o3 w magdar agol elFara7 aw Sara ygolonlha l2nhm byswonha salfa.

Basma: ya kafi wsh 4almw9'o3 eli mn el7ya mo gadr tklm omy feh! 

Zaid: abi atzwj! 

Basma: 6b ha4i omi 9arlha shohour tgolk tzwj, leh ma tgolha?

Zaid: omi tbeni atzwj Lulwa bnt 5alti Ma9'awi! 

Basma: e7lfff! 

Zaid: wallaaa! 3shan ki4a abek t7akenha! 

Basma: shof b7akeha hlmrra bes 3shank wla ent dari omi mo 9ayra t6eeg shofti 7ta! 

Zaid: Basma, la tgolen kitha omi t7bk bes enha hlftra mrra t3bana m3 oboy. 

Basma: t3bana mafe ela ana 3shan tehawshni? 

Zaid: 5la9 it's ok, 9adgeni heya mo 89daha abdn. 

Basma: bes ent ma tbi ttzwj al7en! Shlon?

Zaid: shofi, mo hey 9arlha shehour tgoli tzwj? Bgolha 6yb w a56b Lama w nswi el3rs b3d 3 snen! 

Basma: Zayood wsh by9br omi 3 sneen! 

Zaid: hw tnt9'r! B3d tra ana o3tbr twni 93'eer 3omri 25 sana! 

So I left the room to go talk to my mother about Zaid's marriage. I hope to god that she doesn't find this as a reason to start scolding me. After her sudden outburst about my university choice, she started becoming very short tempered when it was about me. Our relationship went from mother-and-daughter-friendship to fighting almost the whole time. She was always tired and out of the mood lately, I know it's because my dad doesn't seem like he's getting better, but why does she keep taking it out on me? I'm as mad, tired, and angry as her but what can I do.

I knocked on her bedroom door, but I got no answer so I opened the door slowly and saw dad sleeping on the bed. So she must be drinking her tea in the living room. 

I walked over to the living room we had in the house, and found her sipping her tea while reading a book. She had her legs up and covered with a blanket. The minute I came in she looked up at me, and smiled then lifted her reading glasses above her head. I sat next to her on the couch, and put my head on her legs. 

Basma: mama?

Hind: hala mama?

Basma: enti tben Zaid ytzwj 9a7?

Hind: aked ya mama! Ahm ma 3ly s3adtkm. 

Basma: 6yb shofi ana bgolk shy, Zaid mst3d y56b for now bes ma ytzwj ela b3den. 

Hind: 5leh ywafg yro7 yshof elbnt w rbi yktb eli feh el5eer!

Basma: bes mama, Zaid ma ybi Lulwa bnt 5alti ma9'awi! 

Hind: ajl meen ybi?

Basma: ybi Lama 9a7bti! 

Hind: NA3AM?! 5EER ENSHALLAH?


xo 

When will you be mine?: Chapter11

Previously:

Amal: 5aaaaaltiiii! I miss yooouu. Mama hind tgol come down yallaa. 

I smiled at my little angel, that girl can't ever know how much she has power over me.

Farah: ee ha4i elsmile eli nbeha! Ya basmat 7yatna klna! That's the way you should be, getting your life back on track. 

But all I can think about is, what is my life without you?

~

"Basma! Basma! 6al3eni and smile yalla!" 

I looked straight at the camera and curved my lips into the empty smile I've mastered with time. The day is here, I officially graduated from school and I'm having mixed emotions. If you asked me in during the start of the year if I was excited to graduate I would've said yes, but now I have no reason to be. Abdulaziz was supposed to propose in a week, I was supposed to marry him. But he left me, and I have to deal with it. 

Lama: Basma! Ween sr7ty? Yalla we have to go back home and get ready for the after party. (An after-party is a DJ party thrown by the graduates after the school's graduation ceremony)

I nodded at her, but before I could take a few steps Alia called my name. I looked back at her and for the first time in a long while, I actually smiled. 

Alia: we did! We graduated! A5ern! 

She was jumping up and down I laughed at her, she was probably the only one who wasn't crying her eyes out at the fact that we're all going our own way. Then again Alia never was the emotional type, but she was a little bundle of joy. 

Basma: ee! 

I was too gloomy for everyone, I hated the way I was but I couldn't help it. 

Alia: hey, you ok?

My eyes teared up a bit, I have to stop this. I know I keep saying this but I seriously have to get over it. Over him. I nodded at her and bit my lip. 

Basma: I'm okay, la t5afen.

Alia: tdren it's his loss! You're the girl any guy would die for! 

I smiled, for real this time. I'm so lucky to have Alia as my friend.

Basma: I'm okay, 9adgeni.

Lama: Alia, n7bk bes we seriously have to go get ready! Now! Enti jya m3na?

Alia: ee! Yalla bes ba5i4 my dress mn 7oriya. 

Lama: ok e7na bnsbgkek llsyara. 

And I was pulled by my arm, my best friends talk way too fast for me. 

Alia: wait! Syartk wla Basma?

Lama: syarti! 

A few minutes later Alia fell into the car, and we all started laughing at her clumsiness. 

Basma: besmellah 3lia wsh jak! 

Alia: stupid heels. 

She got up and fixed her hair, and I held back my laugh at her mess. As we were all stuffed into the car between Alia and Lama's make up bags, shoes, and dresses, yes dresses because Lama couldn't decide on one, we were almost at my house when Alia's phone rang. It took us a couple of minutes before we found it under me, and before I handed it to her I read the caller ID it said 'Aziz AUS' I felt a stab in my chest. 

Flashback:

Aziz: Basma, glby.

I had my phone tucked into my ears under the blanket in my freezing room.

Basma: 3yon Basma?

As Abdulaziz laughed my heart was filled with warmth.

Aziz: ma 3rftik w enty romanciya.

Basma: ma tgdar tshofni al7en bes tra I stuck my tongue out. 

Aziz: allah la y7rmni, agol Basma? Meta t5rojk?

Basma: most probably a5r May, leeh? 

Aziz: 3shan magdr a9br zyada! Abik t9eren officially mine, gdam kl elnas. 

Basma: hanat klha 9 sh'hor. 

I slept with a huge smile painted on my face that night.

End of flashback.

I looked at Alia and saw that she was hesitant to answer. I shook my head with a soft smile, no one would ever do what that girl does to me.

Basma: 3lia! Rdi 3leh, hw! 

She bugged her eyes out at me.

Alia: bes enti! 

Basma: ana eish d5lni? He's your brother mn 7gik trden 3leh w ybarklek!  

Lama was being extremely quiet; it was as if she knew I'm about to shatter into a thousand pieces, so I smiled at her and squeezed her hand. I promised myself that I'd have fun today, and that I would not let him ruin this day, so I won't. Sure it's been months since he left me, but the wound still feels as fresh as if it happened yesterday. 

We arrived at the house, and I had muted every sound around me and ignored everything. Alia was talking to Abdulaziz quietly, and it was obvious she was angry at him. I loved my best friend, but she shouldn't be doing that to her brother. Lama was the one I'm suspicious about she hasn't left her phone for two days now, and that's so unlike her. Sure she was as social as I am, but she hated staying on her phone for too long. 

I ignored my thoughts, and went down. Lama said she'll follow us in a few after she could bring up all her stuff, and Alia closed the phone and walked beside me. I gave her a knowing smile.

Basma: 3lia, trah o5ok! You're not supposed to be angry with him because of me. It's okay, fe 7yati mar7 a76k bmw8f where you have to choose benena e7na elethnen! 

Alia: I love you, tdren? 9dg ma atw83 momkin o5oy ygdr ylga w7da rob3ik, w enti enshallah rabi by3w9'ik bli a7sn mna.

Basma: meen gal eni abi 3'era a9ln?

I shook my head at the stupidity I was saying. I have no I need to get over him. He shouldn't have this effect on me! He moved on! Why can't I? It's because you still love him and pray that he comes back to you, the annoying little voice in my head said. 

I went up to my room with Alia, and started refreshing my make up. She re-curled her hair, and sprayed it. When I was almost done, I put on my dress and decided to go look for Lama. Where on earth did she go? It's been half an hour! We should get going.

Basma: LAMA! LAMO! WEENK? 

I was looking all over for her, and my mother came over to me. 

Hind: Basma, mama, wsh fek?

Basma: adwr Lama! Ma jatna foug! 

Suddenly our Ethiopian maid Hawwa came into the living room to get my mom her tea.

Basma: 7awwa shfti Lama?

Hawwa: ee, Lama galt yb3'a y3'ayr fl3'orfa eli t7t jmb mjls 9a3'eer. 

What the h*ll? Mo 3wayd Lama. I walked to the empty bedroom that was for guests, and I saw Terry coming out. This keeps getting weirder.

Basma: Terry, is Lama inside? 

Terry: Yes, she is with Mr.Zaid.

Now seriously, what the hell? I went inside the room quietly to face Lama's back; she was having a conversation with Zaid, so I made sure I didn't make any noise because I wanted to know what was going on. Mlgoofa? Screw it.

Zaid: Lama la tgolenli ma agdar! Ana mo bzr! I'm serious about this.

My brother's face had never looked so serious, and I've never seen him beg. Even though Lama was wearing the highest pair of heels she owned, Zaid still towered over her. 

Lama: I can't mo I don't want to. God knows, I do. Bes...

My brother shook his head, and his expression turned frustrated. 

Zaid: bes eish? Bes Basma? Mt2kd ena e5ti mar7 ykon 3ndaha mane3 eni a7b 9degt'ha w aby atzwjha. 

Wait. What? How have I not noticed this before? God it was right in front of my face. I'm so stupid. 

Lama: you're that serious about me? 

I'm guessing she turned red, because my brother's smile was almost splitting his face into two. 

Zaid: Lama, lma agolk mani bzr y3ny mabi shy 3aber. 

Zaid's hand brushed through her hair, and when he leaned in I looked away. I couldn't intrude on their moment. So I stepped back, and knocked the door.

Basma: Lamo? Enti hena?

Lama: huh.. Ee!

I opened the door and Zaid was no where to be found. Hmmm.. strange. 

xo

When will you be mine?: Chapter10

Previously:

I closed the door quickly I was afraid someone might see us. As I walked back to the house I was faced by 2 scary looking guys, and I think that's my queue to run! 

I ran into the kitchen, and slammed the door shut. One I turned around I saw Zaid staring at me with a weirded out look, and I gave him a half scared smile.

Basma: hi Zaid? 

He raised his eyebrow at my look, and smiled at me confused. 

Zaid: shfti a7d?

I nodded.

Zaid: ha4ol a5way2i, w meen jayblk shy mn cartier? 

He gave me an expectant look, sh*t?

Basma: w7da mn elbnat rasltli shy w 76ta bkeesat cartier. 

Zaid: aha mashallah w 76t elshre6a b3d? 

Basma: shklha rasltli an early birthday gift. 

Zaid: ahaaa, mashallah mlbos el3fya.

I shouldn't be so jumpy, I'm sure he noticed that something is wrong. 

~

I ran to my room before anyone else in  the house could stop me, and I held the bag carefully. Why would he get me something from cartier? Mafy monsaba. So I opened it, and very carefully took out the ring. 

It was beautiful, a wedding band from the Love collection. I felt like I wanted to cry. I can't accept that, it's too much. I noticed a little yellow card in the bag it said 'Forever & Always.' I cried at how sweet and thoughtful he is. 

~ 

As of today I've been with Abdulaziz for a year and a half,we go out together every week on Thursday in the morning. Today we were making breakfast together, and I was chopping the vegetables. Everything felt so natural, being in this place with him. The winter frost weather chilled me to the core, but being with him had warmed me in ways I never thought were possible. I was lost in thought when a handful of flour was thrown into my face. 

Basma: ugh! 3ziz! 5eer! 

I was shell shocked, and my jaw fell. 

Aziz: knti mtn7a w abek trkzen! 

So I grabbed a tomato and threw it on him, and as a automatic reflex he opened his mouth and it fell right in. And then his facial expression turned disgusted! 

Aziz: allah ykrm elne3ma, 6ma6? 

He chewed it, and swallowed it quickly. Then he started walking to my side of the counter I ran away from him scared, and he jumped over the counter. It was too late for me to run away and I was trapped; he did the worst thing imaginable. He started tickling me! 

Basma: 3ziiiiiz -laugh- stop.. -laugh- wallaaa asfaa 5laaa9. 

When he finally stopped, I gave him my back but still leaned on him, 3rfto keef? No? He had his arms wrapped around my waist and my head was resting on his shoulder. 

Aziz: glby.. 

Basma: hmm..

Aziz: marry me?

Basma: klm oboy. 

I'm almost 18, and he's almost 21. We were in no way ready to be married. I haven't even graduated school yet. 

Aziz: 9arli km yom a7aki Zaid.

My head snapped up to look at him, what is he doing with my brother?

Basma: leeh?

Aziz: 3shan I soften him up, 3shan lma atgdm lk mafi ay sbab ena yrf9'ni. 

He kissed my neck softly, and I turned red from my neck to the tips of my ears. He continued until I was scared we'd go farther than this, so I pushed him away. It wasn't the first time he did it, but I still get embarrassed. I looked down at my watch and realised that I have to go back home in an hour. 

Basma: yalla let's eat l2na I have to go later. 

I kissed his cheek, and I left him to pick up where I left off in making breakfast. 

~

It was 2:37 AM on the 14th of November, 2009 the coldest night in that winter when I got a sudden call from Abdulaziz. 

Basma: hala..

Aziz: oboy el9ot, 97etik 7bebti?

Basma: shwy..

He laughed at my response, but something felt off with him.

Aziz: glby bgolk shy, ok?

Basma: 3ziiiz goool yr7m omk abi anam!! W e4a kan shy sa5ef b4b7k.

Aziz: bsafr in 3 days, ok?

Basma: btro7 on a guy's trip again?

Aziz: hmm la2 bsafr bro7 adrs eb Australia.

Suddenly, all the sleepiness I felt disappeared to say the least.

Basma: what? Eish? Leeh? 

My heart went into overdrive. 

Aziz: I just have to. 3ndi ashya2 lazm aro7lha... Basma?

Basma: yea?

Aziz: tra walla a7bk, ok? A7bk w amot fek. 

~

It's been the longest 5 months of my life. Five months since I last talked to Abdulaziz, he left me. Without any explanation and any reason for me to think of. I've never felt so broken, and so manipulated. I thought what we had was real. I thought he loved me. I believed we were getting married.

Everytime I thought of him my heart would break all over again. I passed through his house a lot, every time just hoping I'd catch a glimpse of his car or to see his window light open. I had hope that he will come back for me. I believed that he loved me, but the walls around my heart were being built. Brick by brick, I felt them standing proud around the most complex muscle in my body. 

I broke down for what might be the millionth time since you left. You were mine, no one had the right to take you away from me, and you had no right to leave at all.

People are telling me to forget about you, but my heart was telling me to wait for you. Some people say it's too painful to wait for  someone, others say it's too painful to forget about someone. I'm saying that the most painful part is when you don't know whether to forget about someone or to wait for them. 

People are burning from the summer's heat, but my heart was frozen from that day. Every day that passes by without you, I need you more than the day before. It's like all that happened between us, simply didn't. Sadly, I loved you more than your pathetic mind could even imagine. I'm trying not to build this brick wall, and I'm trying not to be heartbroken by you, but it's like mending shattered glass which is near impossible.  

Right now I'm feeling as if you're the sky, and I have no wings. My thoughts were interrupted by my sister's voice when she opened the door. 

Farah: baby, stop doing that to yourself. 5la9 it's his loss..

She wiped my tears, and I gave her a smile. 

Basma: I'm the luckiest girl walla for having you as a sister. I love you so much wallaa.

I hugged her and kissed her cheek, our moment was interrupted by little Amal waddling between us, and falling on my lap. I laughed out loud  at my niece's adorable behaviour. 

Amal: 5aaaaaltiiii! I miss yooouu. Mama hind tgol come down yallaa. 

I smiled at my little angel, that girl can't ever know how much she has power over me.

Farah: ee ha4i elsmile eli nbeha! Ya basmat 7yatna klna! That's the way you should be, getting your life back on track. 

But all I can think about is, what is my life without you?

xo

When will you be mine?: Chapter9

Sorry I'm late! 

Enjoy loves! ❥


-

Previously:

Ebtesamti mn e4n len e4n bm3na elklma. I kept staring at my phone while walking to the little kitchenette on our floor, and I heard a voice mn wray:

"Do not move."

I knew that voice too well, I haven't heard it in ages. I could not believe that he's back! I turned around quickly, and all my suspicions were confirmed when I was met with his signature smirk. 

Basma: Zaid ya klb! You're back! 

I ran over to him, and hugged him tightly. I haven't seen my brother in 2 years, since that incident.


Flashback:

Dad: ana m3d at7ml 3maylk ha4y. Beeti yt34rk. Ro7 3adel nafsik w wgt'ha afkr arj3k elbeeti! 

Mom: ya wld el7lal shwy shwy ngdr n7el elm9'o3 bHdawh. 

Dad: Hind ma3ad agdr at7ml ana zyada. Klshy agdr ast7mla w aslkala, ela ha4a elshy. Rjal wsh kobra mo gadr ymsk nfsa 3n el3'la6? 3eeb walla. E7na ma rbenah hltarbiya. W 7rakatah 7rkat awlad shwar3. 

Mom: m3ak 7ag bes 3a6 elwld for9a.

Dad: 3shan yt6wr elmw9'o3 w y9er mn 7sheesh elshrab? La2 w alf la2! Ana brsla yt3alaj wli 9ar hena ma y6la3 mn elbeet! W e4a s2lona elnas 3nah bngol ra7 hkml jam3a bFinland! 

Those were horrible memories to remember. That day was awful. He was 20 and was just starting to go through life, somehow he got himself into trouble so deep none of us could help him. He started doing drugs. 

I used to be so close to him. We had a relationship every brother and sister were envious of; we told each other everything and did almost everything together. Until he started using, then my whole life turned upside down. I was only 14 when he left so I was hurt deeply, even though he only spent one year in rehab he decided he'd start college there, too. 

My feelings were jumbled up, and my emotions have never been so confused. I was so happy to see him, yet so angry about what he did. I was on the verge of tears from happiness at his arrival, but I wanted to punch and kick him because he never once called or visited after he left. I knew my parents were very angry at him, but I needed him. Especially, after baba was diagnosed.

Basma: you're home.

I finally said something. My arms were sore from hugging him so tightly, and I couldn't let go. I had a fear that he might disappear. At the realization that he's home I started crying, and he started patting my back. 

Zaid: shhh.. 5la9 Basma 7bebti I'm home, leh t9e7en? 

I hugged him for a few more minutes, and then I let go. 

Zaid: walla 6wlti, gdrti to9alen len t7t rgbti! Mashallah. Ashof ashof! 

He asked me to twirl, and I did so, shyly.

Zaid: walla e5ti kbrt w 7lwat, enshallah ma la7agok shbab?

I gave him a pointed look.

Zaid: fhmt. 

Before I could talk to my brother some more, a voice shouted:

"WHAT THE HELL?"

Basma: besmellah elr7man elr7eem! Lama leeh t9r5een! 

She threw her hands in the air. 

Lama: because you're standing 2 meters away from a stranger in your kitchen! Esh m6lob mni agolk 'hi Basma ma 3rfteni 3la eli wagf jmbk?' 

I burst out laughing. That's so like Lama to not recognise Zaid. I looked back to see looking as confused as Lama, but only more shocked.

Basma: Lama, rakzi shwy bWjhah.

She squinted her eyes, and looked at him for more than 2 minutes.

Lama: sorry, still a stranger. 

She looked as confused as ever, and my eyes fell to her shorts. I was more concerned with the fact that she was wearing shorts in front of a stranger. 

Basma: hw Lamo rkzi shwy!

She gave me a frustrated look, and I almost laughed but I realised the importance of the situation. 

Zaid: 7ab7ab? 

Her eyes opened wide, and her jaw fell from shock.

Lama: Zaid! 

So it only took him calling her by her old nickname for her to remember, hmmm.. Interesting. I was waiting for Lama to realise what she's wearing so I'll give her 5 seconds.

1..

2..

3..

Lama: sh*t! 

I should've given her more credit, she only took 3 seconds. Fj2a ma ashof ela 3'bar, and I laughed at her.

Zaid: ha4i Lama?

I laughed even harder.

Basma: la ykon b3d ent nset'ha?

He swallowed loudly, and I gave him a weirded out look.

Zaid: huh? Laa laa bes kbrt w t3'yrt mashallah.

I nodded at him and looked at him with one eyebrow raised. 

Basma: obviously bnkbr 9arlna snten mn shftna.

Zaid: 5la9 Basma ensi eni glt shy.

Basma: ok-ay. So goli keef Finland? 

Zaid: Bagolk bes not when it's almost 5AM and you look like you're about to sleep while walking.

I gave him what I think is a sad look, and he laughed at my puppy face.

Basma: you got an immunity against my puppy face I see, so ok. 

Zaid: oh w Basma?

Basma: sm?

Zaid: what were you smiling so hugely about gbl shwy on your phone?


My heart fluttered at the thought of Aziz and his cuteness. I blushed and shook my head. So awkward to think like that, and around my brother. 

Basma: wla shy, w7da mn elbnat 7akatni 3n shy y9'a7k bes.

He nodded and gave me an easy smile. This is what I love about my brother he trusts me blindly, but that's what breaks my heart too. I'm betraying him, and lying so smoothly. I never wanted to be one of those girls. I am one now, too. I just hope Aziz is different. 

~

I woke up to my phone ringing loudly, and annoyingly if I might add. I looked at the caller ID, and my annoyed face relaxed into a smile.

Basma: alo?

He laughed as soon as he heard my voice, and my heart soared. I really hope this guy won't hurt me, or I'll be in deep trouble.

Aziz: twik t97en ya 3jaza?

I smiled, and blushed. As if he could see me right now. 

Basma: ee, w e4a twni a97a?

Aziz: wsh 4alnom ya bnt el7lal? 7sha nomat a97ab elkahf! W akeed lw eni mo dag kan nmti zyada! 

Basma: al7in ent wsh eli 7arg rzik? Elnas ygomon 3la flowers, breakfast in bed, klam 7lo w ana atom 3la 7bebi ygoli 7sha nomat a97ab elkahf.

Aziz: m7d galik lma you go into this relationships you'll be going into a pile of romantic stuff. Ana ki4a blbedaya bes, when it's too late for you to leave I shock you with my true nonromantic personality. 

Basma: yea yea whatever. Ezbda sh3ndik dag mn 9ba7 rbi?

Aziz: w ana eli mo romantic, haa? B3den traha 2 el9'hr mo 9b7! 

Basma: sh*t walla w ma gmt?

Aziz: 9ra7tn dget 3lek elsa3a 6 l2nk ma rdeti 3ly bbm w rdeti. 

Basma: gool wallaa? Ma at4kr! Yarb ma glt shy yfshl!

Aziz: la t5afen ma glti shy, bes glti enk fr7ana l2n a5ok jaa, w llm3lomiya ma knt adri ena 3ndek o5o! Oh w smeeteeni 3zozi..

I burst out laughing in embarrassment.

Basma: whaaaat? 3zoozi? Yarabih afshl!

Aziz: don't worry, I found it cute. Reminded me a bit of my mom, bes cute. 

Basma: I still feel ena 3ndik ulterior motive for this call..

Aziz: actually I do, awl shy abi a3rf men o5ok eli I just found out about, and b3d rob3 sa3a ro7i 5o4i shy mn sh3'ltkm. 

Basma: rob3 sa3a? 

Aziz: ee, w la yshofa a7d entbhi.

Basma: ok-ay?

Aziz: al7in goleli 3n o5ok.

Basma: 3ziz ma wdi walla..

Aziz: leeh? Maby a9'b3'6ik bes I would like to know.

I just realised ena he has a slight british accent, galbe-h.

Basma: it's just so hard, w I don't want you to leave me.

Aziz: hw why would I?

Basma: because my family is messed up?

Aziz: Basma! 

Basma: 3yonha?

I instantly blushed at that.

Aziz: tra ana a7bik. 

So I told him the story behind my brother's disappearance those past 2 years. How he met the wrong people and started doing drugs, and in the middle of it all I started crying. He let me let it all out because he understood how much I needed to. 

Aziz: 7bebty?

Basma: ha-hiccup-a 

Aziz: esh rayik tro7in tft7en elbab?

Basma: ok?

I wore my flip flops and went down to the door outside, and opened it slightly. A familiar hand gave me a red bag I was very familiar with.

Aziz: la tft7en elkeesa ela lma aro7 w lazm tkonen l7alk, ok?

Basma: 6yb.

I closed the door quickly I was afraid someone might see us. As I walked back to the house I was faced by 2 scary looking guys, and I think that's my queue to run! 

xo