I closed the door quickly I was afraid someone might see us. As I walked back to the house I was faced by 2 scary looking guys, and I think that's my queue to run!
I ran into the kitchen, and slammed the door shut. One I turned around I saw Zaid staring at me with a weirded out look, and I gave him a half scared smile.
Basma: hi Zaid?
He raised his eyebrow at my look, and smiled at me confused.
Zaid: shfti a7d?
I nodded.
Zaid: ha4ol a5way2i, w meen jayblk shy mn cartier?
He gave me an expectant look, sh*t?
Basma: w7da mn elbnat rasltli shy w 76ta bkeesat cartier.
Zaid: aha mashallah w 76t elshre6a b3d?
Basma: shklha rasltli an early birthday gift.
Zaid: ahaaa, mashallah mlbos el3fya.
I shouldn't be so jumpy, I'm sure he noticed that something is wrong.
~
I ran to my room before anyone else in the house could stop me, and I held the bag carefully. Why would he get me something from cartier? Mafy monsaba. So I opened it, and very carefully took out the ring.
It was beautiful, a wedding band from the Love collection. I felt like I wanted to cry. I can't accept that, it's too much. I noticed a little yellow card in the bag it said 'Forever & Always.' I cried at how sweet and thoughtful he is.
~
As of today I've been with Abdulaziz for a year and a half,we go out together every week on Thursday in the morning. Today we were making breakfast together, and I was chopping the vegetables. Everything felt so natural, being in this place with him. The winter frost weather chilled me to the core, but being with him had warmed me in ways I never thought were possible. I was lost in thought when a handful of flour was thrown into my face.
Basma: ugh! 3ziz! 5eer!
I was shell shocked, and my jaw fell.
Aziz: knti mtn7a w abek trkzen!
So I grabbed a tomato and threw it on him, and as a automatic reflex he opened his mouth and it fell right in. And then his facial expression turned disgusted!
Aziz: allah ykrm elne3ma, 6ma6?
He chewed it, and swallowed it quickly. Then he started walking to my side of the counter I ran away from him scared, and he jumped over the counter. It was too late for me to run away and I was trapped; he did the worst thing imaginable. He started tickling me!
Basma: 3ziiiiiz -laugh- stop.. -laugh- wallaaa asfaa 5laaa9.
When he finally stopped, I gave him my back but still leaned on him, 3rfto keef? No? He had his arms wrapped around my waist and my head was resting on his shoulder.
Aziz: glby..
Basma: hmm..
Aziz: marry me?
Basma: klm oboy.
I'm almost 18, and he's almost 21. We were in no way ready to be married. I haven't even graduated school yet.
Aziz: 9arli km yom a7aki Zaid.
My head snapped up to look at him, what is he doing with my brother?
Basma: leeh?
Aziz: 3shan I soften him up, 3shan lma atgdm lk mafi ay sbab ena yrf9'ni.
He kissed my neck softly, and I turned red from my neck to the tips of my ears. He continued until I was scared we'd go farther than this, so I pushed him away. It wasn't the first time he did it, but I still get embarrassed. I looked down at my watch and realised that I have to go back home in an hour.
Basma: yalla let's eat l2na I have to go later.
I kissed his cheek, and I left him to pick up where I left off in making breakfast.
~
It was 2:37 AM on the 14th of November, 2009 the coldest night in that winter when I got a sudden call from Abdulaziz.
Basma: hala..
Aziz: oboy el9ot, 97etik 7bebti?
Basma: shwy..
He laughed at my response, but something felt off with him.
Aziz: glby bgolk shy, ok?
Basma: 3ziiiz goool yr7m omk abi anam!! W e4a kan shy sa5ef b4b7k.
Aziz: bsafr in 3 days, ok?
Basma: btro7 on a guy's trip again?
Aziz: hmm la2 bsafr bro7 adrs eb Australia.
Suddenly, all the sleepiness I felt disappeared to say the least.
Basma: what? Eish? Leeh?
My heart went into overdrive.
Aziz: I just have to. 3ndi ashya2 lazm aro7lha... Basma?
Basma: yea?
Aziz: tra walla a7bk, ok? A7bk w amot fek.
~
It's been the longest 5 months of my life. Five months since I last talked to Abdulaziz, he left me. Without any explanation and any reason for me to think of. I've never felt so broken, and so manipulated. I thought what we had was real. I thought he loved me. I believed we were getting married.
Everytime I thought of him my heart would break all over again. I passed through his house a lot, every time just hoping I'd catch a glimpse of his car or to see his window light open. I had hope that he will come back for me. I believed that he loved me, but the walls around my heart were being built. Brick by brick, I felt them standing proud around the most complex muscle in my body.
I broke down for what might be the millionth time since you left. You were mine, no one had the right to take you away from me, and you had no right to leave at all.
People are telling me to forget about you, but my heart was telling me to wait for you. Some people say it's too painful to wait for someone, others say it's too painful to forget about someone. I'm saying that the most painful part is when you don't know whether to forget about someone or to wait for them.
People are burning from the summer's heat, but my heart was frozen from that day. Every day that passes by without you, I need you more than the day before. It's like all that happened between us, simply didn't. Sadly, I loved you more than your pathetic mind could even imagine. I'm trying not to build this brick wall, and I'm trying not to be heartbroken by you, but it's like mending shattered glass which is near impossible.
Right now I'm feeling as if you're the sky, and I have no wings. My thoughts were interrupted by my sister's voice when she opened the door.
Farah: baby, stop doing that to yourself. 5la9 it's his loss..
She wiped my tears, and I gave her a smile.
Basma: I'm the luckiest girl walla for having you as a sister. I love you so much wallaa.
I hugged her and kissed her cheek, our moment was interrupted by little Amal waddling between us, and falling on my lap. I laughed out loud at my niece's adorable behaviour.
Amal: 5aaaaaltiiii! I miss yooouu. Mama hind tgol come down yallaa.
I smiled at my little angel, that girl can't ever know how much she has power over me.
Farah: ee ha4i elsmile eli nbeha! Ya basmat 7yatna klna! That's the way you should be, getting your life back on track.
But all I can think about is, what is my life without you?
xo
Basma: hi Zaid?
He raised his eyebrow at my look, and smiled at me confused.
Zaid: shfti a7d?
I nodded.
Zaid: ha4ol a5way2i, w meen jayblk shy mn cartier?
He gave me an expectant look, sh*t?
Basma: w7da mn elbnat rasltli shy w 76ta bkeesat cartier.
Zaid: aha mashallah w 76t elshre6a b3d?
Basma: shklha rasltli an early birthday gift.
Zaid: ahaaa, mashallah mlbos el3fya.
I shouldn't be so jumpy, I'm sure he noticed that something is wrong.
~
I ran to my room before anyone else in the house could stop me, and I held the bag carefully. Why would he get me something from cartier? Mafy monsaba. So I opened it, and very carefully took out the ring.
It was beautiful, a wedding band from the Love collection. I felt like I wanted to cry. I can't accept that, it's too much. I noticed a little yellow card in the bag it said 'Forever & Always.' I cried at how sweet and thoughtful he is.
~
As of today I've been with Abdulaziz for a year and a half,we go out together every week on Thursday in the morning. Today we were making breakfast together, and I was chopping the vegetables. Everything felt so natural, being in this place with him. The winter frost weather chilled me to the core, but being with him had warmed me in ways I never thought were possible. I was lost in thought when a handful of flour was thrown into my face.
Basma: ugh! 3ziz! 5eer!
I was shell shocked, and my jaw fell.
Aziz: knti mtn7a w abek trkzen!
So I grabbed a tomato and threw it on him, and as a automatic reflex he opened his mouth and it fell right in. And then his facial expression turned disgusted!
Aziz: allah ykrm elne3ma, 6ma6?
He chewed it, and swallowed it quickly. Then he started walking to my side of the counter I ran away from him scared, and he jumped over the counter. It was too late for me to run away and I was trapped; he did the worst thing imaginable. He started tickling me!
Basma: 3ziiiiiz -laugh- stop.. -laugh- wallaaa asfaa 5laaa9.
When he finally stopped, I gave him my back but still leaned on him, 3rfto keef? No? He had his arms wrapped around my waist and my head was resting on his shoulder.
Aziz: glby..
Basma: hmm..
Aziz: marry me?
Basma: klm oboy.
I'm almost 18, and he's almost 21. We were in no way ready to be married. I haven't even graduated school yet.
Aziz: 9arli km yom a7aki Zaid.
My head snapped up to look at him, what is he doing with my brother?
Basma: leeh?
Aziz: 3shan I soften him up, 3shan lma atgdm lk mafi ay sbab ena yrf9'ni.
He kissed my neck softly, and I turned red from my neck to the tips of my ears. He continued until I was scared we'd go farther than this, so I pushed him away. It wasn't the first time he did it, but I still get embarrassed. I looked down at my watch and realised that I have to go back home in an hour.
Basma: yalla let's eat l2na I have to go later.
I kissed his cheek, and I left him to pick up where I left off in making breakfast.
~
It was 2:37 AM on the 14th of November, 2009 the coldest night in that winter when I got a sudden call from Abdulaziz.
Basma: hala..
Aziz: oboy el9ot, 97etik 7bebti?
Basma: shwy..
He laughed at my response, but something felt off with him.
Aziz: glby bgolk shy, ok?
Basma: 3ziiiz goool yr7m omk abi anam!! W e4a kan shy sa5ef b4b7k.
Aziz: bsafr in 3 days, ok?
Basma: btro7 on a guy's trip again?
Aziz: hmm la2 bsafr bro7 adrs eb Australia.
Suddenly, all the sleepiness I felt disappeared to say the least.
Basma: what? Eish? Leeh?
My heart went into overdrive.
Aziz: I just have to. 3ndi ashya2 lazm aro7lha... Basma?
Basma: yea?
Aziz: tra walla a7bk, ok? A7bk w amot fek.
~
It's been the longest 5 months of my life. Five months since I last talked to Abdulaziz, he left me. Without any explanation and any reason for me to think of. I've never felt so broken, and so manipulated. I thought what we had was real. I thought he loved me. I believed we were getting married.
Everytime I thought of him my heart would break all over again. I passed through his house a lot, every time just hoping I'd catch a glimpse of his car or to see his window light open. I had hope that he will come back for me. I believed that he loved me, but the walls around my heart were being built. Brick by brick, I felt them standing proud around the most complex muscle in my body.
I broke down for what might be the millionth time since you left. You were mine, no one had the right to take you away from me, and you had no right to leave at all.
People are telling me to forget about you, but my heart was telling me to wait for you. Some people say it's too painful to wait for someone, others say it's too painful to forget about someone. I'm saying that the most painful part is when you don't know whether to forget about someone or to wait for them.
People are burning from the summer's heat, but my heart was frozen from that day. Every day that passes by without you, I need you more than the day before. It's like all that happened between us, simply didn't. Sadly, I loved you more than your pathetic mind could even imagine. I'm trying not to build this brick wall, and I'm trying not to be heartbroken by you, but it's like mending shattered glass which is near impossible.
Right now I'm feeling as if you're the sky, and I have no wings. My thoughts were interrupted by my sister's voice when she opened the door.
Farah: baby, stop doing that to yourself. 5la9 it's his loss..
She wiped my tears, and I gave her a smile.
Basma: I'm the luckiest girl walla for having you as a sister. I love you so much wallaa.
I hugged her and kissed her cheek, our moment was interrupted by little Amal waddling between us, and falling on my lap. I laughed out loud at my niece's adorable behaviour.
Amal: 5aaaaaltiiii! I miss yooouu. Mama hind tgol come down yallaa.
I smiled at my little angel, that girl can't ever know how much she has power over me.
Farah: ee ha4i elsmile eli nbeha! Ya basmat 7yatna klna! That's the way you should be, getting your life back on track.
But all I can think about is, what is my life without you?
xo
